Hey, It's Hockey! Game One - Pens/Flyers

Well, here we go.  Hockey Christmas came late this year, but it's here now and look what's under the tree!  A rematch between two of the league's best and most popular teams, who hate each other, and who nearly fought to the death in the playoffs last year.  For Pens fans, there will be no respite from the memories of that series; NBC will shove them down our throats.  The soundtrack will be the same one that fueled our nightmares this long offseason: Doc Emrick's Mrs. Doubtfire-looking ass will reach deep into his vocabulary to describe the animosity on the ice, Edzo will sound like a walking concussion, hockey's answer to Troy Aikman, and that shit-eater Pierre McGuire will chime in with mind-numbing observations ("There is NO LOVE LOST between these teams!") that we already knew but which he has special insight into because he's standing between the two benches and quick let's get this guy a Pulitzer.

There will be a game, though, a game pregnant with meaning for the league, for the fans in both seasons, and no doubt for the players.  Any idea that the Pens can exact revenge is a joke, but we will get to see if Geno's offseason spent destroying Russia and Crosby's spent probably lifting trucks while staring at a video loop of this:


 Will help them get to a new level that the Flyers' schemes can't fuck with. We'll get to see if Bylsma, after being completely out-maneuvered by Peter Laviolette, can show some ability to make changes on the fly, to show different looks to teams like the Flyers who know exactly what to expect from you. The Penguins have become predictable, and all the talent in the world isn't going to overcome a good team that's prepared for everything you have to throw at them. Bylsma's earned a lifetime pass by winning the Cup, but could (or should) another early playoff exit give Shero pause about keeping him behind the bench? Hey look, I'm already getting way ahead of myself and starting fires where there aren't any - HOCKEY'S BACK!

 I'll be watching this game like all Pens' fans, with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. No lead will be enough, our hearts will sink every time the Flyers bring the puck into our zone, and we will instinctively curse at every shot of a smiling, cocky ginger, Giroux or Hartnell. It will elicit more anxiety than watching Training Day stoned, and it will be awesome. And then we get to do it again tomorrow night with the Rangers! It's hockey Christmas, uncancelled, so let's count our blessings.