Game on! (hockey reference)

When I moved back to Pittsburgh last June after a decade of living elsewhere, one of the things I looked forward to most was finally getting to see the Penguins on a regular basis. Catching games here and there, when they found their way onto whatever cable netherregion hockey had been relegated to, or when I could find a game streaming online that didn't look like some stop-motion Pixelvision joke, wasn't cutting it. Living in Chicago and Los Angeles when both cities won the Cup added insult to injury; when the Pens won it all in aught-nine, I watched Game 7 in a Toronto bar surrounded by a bunch of strangers who as far as I could tell were rooting for both teams to lose. So I was legitimately excited at the thought of watching games with other Pens fans, shaking our heads in unison at another wide-right wrister from Tyler Kennedy, devising trade scenarios that put Jarome Iginla on Sid's right wing (how about Paul Martin, Eric Tangradi, AND a first rounder? Who says no?), and having Brandon Sutter win us over as one within the first week of games. Maybe, I told myself, I'll even get back on the blogging horse and blog the season, live the life of a sports blogger and go to sleep every night on a pile of blog money.

"Boy, do I love being a sports blogger."

Then the NHL lockout came along and shat on my beautiful dream, like a bird shitting on the head of a beautiful Salma Hayek.  They were dark days, my dear readers.  When I should have been watching Evgeni Malkin doing disgusting things to opposing D-men, instead I was watching three seasons of Parenthood on Netflix.  If my life was that Batman movie (and let me clarify now, it is not), this was the part where Batman was in that bizarre jail-pit, but instead of having my back punched into shape by some old dude, I was having my heart punched by Peter Krause's determination to be the loving father that his father (COACH!) never was.  I could have given in, started a Parenthood blog, and been found dead in a pool of my own tears.  But I didn't.  Like Batman himself, I climbed out of my jail-hole (honestly, was that movie for real?), and now hockey's back. Once more: hockey's back.  I'm thrilled.  It took me precisely zero seconds to get over the lockout and into excited-for-hockey mode, and that excitement has reached the point where only a blog could contain it.  Hockey's back!

So here we are.  God damn.  Be sure to follow along if you like sports blogging (who doesn't?!), hockey, stories that take place in shitty Pittsburgh bars, run-on sentences, the results of half-assed Google Image searches, and people complaining about terrible commercials in way too much detail.  I'll be blogging at you tomorrow with my just-under-the-wire season preview, where I'll address some of the pressing issues facing the Pens in 2013, like the development of Kris Letang, the sudden fallibility of Dan Bylsma, and everyone's favorite game: How to Fix the Pens' Power Play!  

For now, sweet readers, try and get some sleep.  Rest easy knowing that hockey will be starting before your next brunch has been digested, and that we live in a world where this happened, and could happen again: